Joy While Grieving
By Summer Martin
Shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger and bargaining, depression, the upward turn, reconstruction, and finally acceptance and hope. Those are the seven stages of grief. As a former CNA instructor I have gone over these stages of grief with my students, I have also experienced these stages of grief. No, a person doesn’t have to experience all of them, or in the order that they are listed, but for the majority of people out there when they are grieving, these are the stages they go through. While I am sure I will experience some of these again in my life at some point, my view of grief for a fellow brother or sister in Christ has changed the more I grow in my sanctification walk.
The following scripture “Count it all joy my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds,” - James 1:2, which I have already written an article about down below, took on a new meaning and understanding this month with the sudden passing of a friend who I considered family. One of my very best friends crossed through those pearly gates, and entered into eternal rest with our Savior. I can picture the pure joy on her face when she beheld Him, the smile that just grew wider knowing she was where she wanted to be. That is a picture of her I will forever hold in my mind when I think of her. Now, when I first started studying James, I was focused on more of the trials, the things in life that we see as negative, fights with spouse, children, friends, coworkers, spiritual attacks, etc. But today, this verse holds something else for me. It’s okay to hold joy in your heart while grieving for a fellow brother or sister in Christ.
I was talking to my husband after that night saying how I feel like I’m being weird because I know without a doubt where my friend is, and I am so happy that she is there, there are no pains, no worries, she is praising and singing and enjoying eternity in the kingdom; however, I feel so lost and sad that she’s not here. I want to be selfish and have her here. But he said something to me that made me stop and think. “She wouldn’t be mad at you for missing her”.
I miss her so much. I miss her laugh, her singing, her telling me what I need to hear when I need to hear it and backing it up with scripture. With the truth. But there is a joy, a cup overflowing with joy when I think about those brothers and sisters in Christ who have passed away, whether it be family or friends that just make it bittersweet. You miss them here on this side of Heaven, and there is a hole where they used to be, especially when they packed so much life like my best friend did. However there is that peace and happiness and yes, pure joy that I hold knowing that I will see her again. Knowing that she is getting to experience all the things that we talked about, all the people we spoke about meeting.
It’s hard for me to fathom someone living their life with no hope of ever seeing their loved one again. Having no hope that you will be somewhere better than spectacular once we die. That all there is would be nothingness. That seems to me to be a life of dreariness. My gift of salvation from Christ gives me that hope. Hope for that Kingdom of God where I will pass through the pearly gates, the words uttered from God “Well done my good and faithful servant”, the praises I will be singing to give Him glory for eternity. That fills me with so much hope. Ya’ll. GOD SAVES SINNERS. In the words of my friend who just passed, “The gospel message is that Jesus stepped down from His throne in glory to be a suffering servant. He lived a perfect obedient life to God’s law. He was tempted in every way but without sin. He was persecuted, beaten, and crucified by the ones He came to save. Nailed to a cross where he took on the full wrath of God for the sins of the church. He was buried and was resurrected and now He sits at the right Hand of the Father interceding for the Saints. He has conquered death and freed us from all bondage and defeated the enemy. He has overcome that which we could not. He is our deliverance.”.
That is why we Christians can celebrate the life that was lived, and still grieve, because it isn’t about us. It isn’t about the one who passed, it’s about him and the precious gift he gave us of salvation where we will get to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever.
In my experience grief will come and go, however the pure joy in knowing that I will see my fellow brethren in Christ again someday, that joy remains and continues to overflow because of My God. My God is a living God. He is the only God. He is the True God. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords And if one day my life here on this side of Heaven comes to an end, I will just be beginning the perfectness of being with My God. And I hope that when that days comes, it wont be about me, it will all be about Him.
