The Bitter Cup
By: Summer Martin
Have you ever known someone who, no matter how much love, grace, encouragement, and truth you pour into them, seems to leave a bitter taste in your mouth? God has graciously filled your cup to overflowing, and you gladly pour into them, yet nothing seems to take root. Instead, the cycle repeats itself, and if we’re honest, bitterness can begin to grow in our own hearts. I know it has in mine. I’ve experienced this myself, and I’ve watched others wrestle with it too.
Let’s be honest: compassion fatigue is real. It’s okay to feel tired when you are constantly pouring out into others; the sin happens when that tiredness turns into resentment and bitterness.
Recently, I found myself wrestling with this very thing. There is someone I genuinely love and desire the very best for. I have seen evidence of growth in their life, and I long to see them continue to choose the “better part” that Mary chose—to sit at Christ’s feet, treasure Him, and grow in Him (Luke 10:38–42). I want to see them drawn closer to Jesus Christ, becoming more like Him and flourishing within the body of Christ.
But then humanity happens.
The flesh that still wages war within them surfaces. Others respond according to their own flesh. And before long, my own flesh begins to respond as well. It is frustrating. It is discouraging. It leaves me asking, “Why, God?”
His answer has been simple:
It isn’t about you.
My feelings may be real, but they must never become my master. Bitterness is a snare, and Christ never called me to live in it. I cannot change people—only God can. Changing hearts was never my commission.
Making disciples was.
Matthew 28: 18-20 "And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Acts 1:8, "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth."
Nowhere in those commands does Christ tell us to become bitter when people grow slowly. Nowhere does He tell us to allow frustration, resentment, or anger to take root. He simply tells us to be faithful.
Two phrases especially stand out to me: all nations and Samaria.
To understand the significance of that, we have to understand who the Samaritans were. The hostility between Jews and Samaritans ran deep. Many Jews deliberately avoided traveling through Samaria because of the contempt they held for its people. Yet Jesus intentionally went there. He met a broken, rejected woman drawing water in the heat of the day—a woman who had been pushed to the margins of society—and He revealed Himself to her as the Messiah.
Jesus did not seek out the person everyone else admired. He went to the outcast.
Then He commanded His followers to take the gospel to people just like her.
Because it was never about us.
Sometimes those broken people are unbelievers who desperately need Christ. Other times, they are redeemed brothers and sisters who are still walking through sanctification just as we are. Some are still drinking milk when we long to see them mature enough for solid food. Yet we do not abandon them simply because growth seems slow.
Before I become frustrated with someone else’s slow sanctification, I have to remember how patient God has been with mine. I would hate to think that my Savior would give up on me every time I sinned, every time I spoke carelessly, or every time I allowed pride, bitterness, or anger to gain a foothold in my heart.
Sometimes the people who are hardest for us to love are our own brothers and sisters in Christ.
Sometimes the very person God is calling you to pour into is sitting in the pew beside you.
And some days, you may be the only visible picture of Christ they encounter.
How, then, are we representing Him if we refuse to love them with Christlike love?
Paul writes in Ephesians 4:31–32:
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Showing Christlike love does not mean ignoring sin or refusing wise, biblical boundaries. Scripture calls us to speak the truth in love, pursue peace when possible, and entrust the outcome to God. We can lovingly confront when necessary while still refusing to let bitterness take root.
Yes, we are human. Our flesh fights against us every day. But we are no longer slaves to it. We are new creations in Christ.
The early Christians were recognizable, not because they blended into the culture around them, but because they refused to respond as the world responded. They loved their enemies. They forgave those who wronged them. They endured suffering with hope because Christ had changed them.
Jesus said in Luke 6:27–28:
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”
Paul reminds us in Galatians 6:9:
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
And again in Philippians 2:3–4:
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
I’ll end with Paul’s reminder in 1 Corinthians 12:12–14:
“For just as the body is one and has many members… so it is with Christ.”
If God has united us into one body through Christ, then our calling is not to decide which members are worthy of our love. Our calling is to love one another as Christ has loved us, trusting that the same God who is faithfully sanctifying us is faithfully at work in them as well.
Every day we have a choice. We can hand others the bitter cup we’ve been drinking from, or we can continue pouring from the cup Christ has filled with mercy and grace. One produces death. The other points people to Jesus.
And if you think you can’t stand being around that redeemed brother or sister on this side of heaven… buckle up, buttercup. If they belong to Christ, you’ll be worshiping beside them for all eternity. Perhaps God isn’t just sanctifying them through this season—perhaps He’s sanctifying you, too.
